” The Martins worshipped their three year old son, Robert. Always bragged about his feats. There had never been a child as bright and creative as theirs. Then Robert did something Unforgivable …he didn’t get into the number one preschool in New York. After that, the Martins cooled toward him. They didn’t talk about him the same way, and they didn’t treat him with the same pride and affection. He was no longer their brilliant little Robert. He was someone who had discredit himself and shamed them. At the tender age of three, he was a failure. ”

A New York times article points our that in our society that failure has transformed from an action ( I failed) to an identity ( I am a Failure) …..

When I read this in the book “Mindset” by Carol Dweck, I was taken back. Who in their right mind would do this to their child… and then I thought, I have. The guilt set in.

Maybe I didn’t do it in this extreme of an example shared in the book, but how many times do we move to a mindset of a fixed nature and place a label. What does this do the a young mind? If done enough through life, what does or better yet, how has this type of reaction effected my life or another adult.

I have even recent examples of parents, friends, and associates using this type of identification.

I wanted to share this as we have opportunities, especially with young minds to help them grow… and not be boxed up into a pre-determined character.